JUNE 2006

Welcome to the June 2006 issue of our online newsletter. 

 

Table of Contents

1. Depression: Crashing your Postpartum Party

2. Babywearing Class

3. Listening Mothers Class

4. Childbirth Education Classes

5. Birth Book Looking for Birth Stories

6. A Place to Donate Baby Paraphenalia

7. Date for the Annual Picnic

Depression: Crashing Your Postpartum Party

by Matthew Tiemeyer, MA

You’ve dreamt about your baby’s birth for months. You’ve carefully planned for her arrival, watching, waiting, and agonizing. You felt immense joy when she was born—and you and your husband shared tears that cemented just how wonderful becoming a parent really is.

And now you’re feeling a deep loneliness and a vague sense that something isn’t right. “My baby is here, and she’s beautiful,” you think. “Shouldn’t that be enough to make me feel overjoyed?” But you’re not. And you feel guilty. Maybe you try to hide your emotions for the sake of family and friends. In the face of the new responsibility of parenting, though, you’re feeling more and more isolated—as though no one can understand. Many of your moments alone are spent in silent agony.

You may be feeling symptoms of postpartum depression (PPD), a condition mothers experience after 5% to 25% of all births. PPD is more significant than the “baby blues” many mothers feel after childbirth. Depression can easily lead to difficulty in parenting and strain on your relationship with your partner. In some severe cases, it can stress families to the breaking point.

Why does a glorious event like the birth of a baby trigger something that feels so horrible? One cause is that birth represents a great deal of loss. Your freedom, career, and time with friends may become luxuries. Further, the closeness you shared with your baby as she grew in your womb has changed: Not knowing her every kick and squirm can leave you feeling oddly detached.

Further, birth itself is a powerful experience that can engage you to your core. The physical, emotional, and spiritual impact combine to create such a visceral event that you may have old memories rise to the surface. For example, if a memory of abuse arises, it can awaken feelings of helplessness and shame. And since the learning curve you experience as a new mom is at times overwhelming, the sense of not being “good enough” to be a parent can assert itself quickly.

These factors, plus the massive fluctuations in hormones that occur in pregnancy and childbirth, create the potential for PPD. Depression is identified by specific symptoms, some of which are listed here:

• feeling “down”

• feeling worthless or guilty

• changes in appetite

• changes in sleep patterns (to be expected with a newborn!)

• uncontrollable crying

• sense of hopelessness

• thoughts of self-harm or suicide

 

PPD can also include baby-focused symptoms:

• lack of interest in the baby

• fear that harm will come to the baby

• negative feelings toward the baby

• thoughts about harming the baby yourself

 

Help is available. If you have thoughts about harming yourself or the baby, you are not alone. These thoughts can be alarming and may make you feel guilty. But it is vital that you tell someone right away; it is the best care you can provide for your baby and for yourself. In fact, the single most important thing a new mother can do when she feels symptoms of depression, no matter the severity, is to involve people who care.

If you’re a client of Puget Sound Birth Center, you can start by contacting your midwife. Even if you are past your final postpartum visit, your midwife can point you to caregivers in the community who specialize in PPD and other resources. Some options you might discuss:

Seeing your doctor is advisable. Whether you choose a traditional doctor or a naturopath, your practitioner will be able to suggest approaches that address the physical component of PPD. Such approaches often include changes to diet and exercise. In some cases, medication is helpful.

Seeing a counselor is another excellent choice. Therapists can offer insights into a new mother’s unique situation, helping to uncover and heal root causes. It’s a great setting for building concrete skills to cope with PPD. A therapist can also help you establish a sense of greater meaning around the struggle of pregnancy and childbirth.

Including family and friends in your life can make a world of difference. This is the time to accept all those offers of help! Send people out for meals, have them do laundry, and let trusted persons babysit while you take a nap. It may be uncomfortable to ask for help in this way, but the mental, physical, and emotional rest you will gain is well worth it.

PPD can be debilitating, but it is treatable. And let’s face it: Dealing with a newborn is difficult even in the most ideal circumstances. The good news is that getting help may lead to an enjoyment of your baby—and life—that you had not thought possible.

Matthew Tiemeyer, MA, works as a mental health therapist in Bothell, WA, and also in Seattle’s Greenlake area. He and his wife, Shelly, are the parents of Caelan, a one-year-old boy. Matthew can be reached at 425.275.2198 or mptiemeyer@juno.com. More information on Matthew’s approach to counseling is available at www.matthewtiemeyer.com.


Helpful links used for this article where you can find more information on postpartum depression:

1) Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: http://www.dbsalliance.org/info/postpartum.html

2) Postpartum Education for Parents (PEP): http://www.sbpep.org/index.php?content=ppd/pepppdsupporters.htm

3) Postpartum Support International: http://www.postpartum.net/

4) Department of Health and Human Services (Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality): http://www.ahrq.gov/clinic/epcsums/peridepsum.htm

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Babywearing Class

So many choices! A sling? A Moby Wrap? A Baby Bjorn?

In the last newsletter, we asked if there was interest in a babywearing class. The answer was a resounding "YES!" so in May, Karen Shelver held a class at the birth center. It was such a success that Karen will be offering the class every month.

Karen's class gives you a chance to try different types of carriers and learn how to use them effectively. You can also bring a carrier you already own and get tips on how to make it work better.

The class can be taken prenatally--you can use a doll to practice with. But it's probably most valuable when you can try your unique baby in different carriers.

The class costs $10 and runs from 10am-11am on the 3rd Saturday of every month (17th June, 15th July, 19th August). For more information about the classes or to register, call Karen at (425) 681-3132 or email her at KarenShelver@gmail.com.

You can also visit her website at www.backpack-baby.com.
 

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Listening Mothers Class

We're very happy to announce an additional resource available to you after your baby is born. Later this year, we will start offering a Listening Mothers class on Friday afternoons at the birth center. The class is an 8 week series, with each session lasting one-and-a-half hours.

Here's a quote from Listening Mothers' founder, Yaffa Maritz, summarizing the program's approach:

"At the Listening mothers program, in the supportive environment of the group, the moms gain more confidence in their ability to mother, and are learning to trust their intuition in responding to their baby. As they grow to understand themselves and their babies better through our group discussions, they can offer a foundation for emotional security in which their baby can thrive."

For more information about Listening Mothers, please visit their website at http://www.ListeningMothers.org. The start date for the next class has not yet been decided, but as soon as it is, we'll let you know.

We will also continue to offer the 4th Trimester drop-in class on Friday mornings from 10am-noon.

 

Childbirth Classes

Childbirth Classes for Puget Sound Birth Center are offered by Birth Zone and taught by PSMBC Executive Director Liz Chalmers. Here's a quote from the Birth Zone website:

 

"At the end of the series of classes, my goal is that you will be:

• more confident of your body's innate wisdom and, therefore, your ability to birth

• more equipped with techniques you can turn to in labor

• more knowledgeable about the process and the various paths you may take

• more capable of making informed decisions regarding your care
   

and, for the birth partner:

• more confident of your role."

 

In addition to the 7-week and 5-week series, there is now a 4 hour refresher class for couples who have given birth before but are looking for an update on labor and birth.

For more information, call Liz Chalmers at (425) 868-4989 or email Liz at Liz@BirthZone.com or visit www.birthzone.com

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Birth Book Looking for Birth Stories

The publishers of the classic women's health book "Our Bodies Ourselves" are starting work on a new book about pregnancy and childbirth, scheduled for publication in 2007. They are looking for birth stories to include in this book.

For more information or to submit your birth story to them for consideration, please click here.

 

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A Place to Donate Baby Paraphenalia

If you are ready to say goodbye to outgrown baby clothes or baby gear, there's a wonderful organization called Westside Baby that can do great things with your donations. To quote from their website:

"Westside Baby is a nonprofit, charitable organization that collects new and used clothing, toys, books, and baby gear and distributes them free of charge to local families in need. We act as a distribution center supplying basic items to over 45 shelters, food banks, public health nurses, schools, social workers, and others.

We work toward a day when all babies and young children in our community have their basic physical needs met--enough diapers and food, adequate clothing and shoes, appropriate toys and books, and safe equipment for their care."

For information about how to donate, visit their website at http://www.westsidebaby.org

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Mark Your Calendars--Annual Picnic Coming Up!

This year's picnic is scheduled for September 9th at Cottage Lake Park. More details as we get closer to the date.

If you are interested in helping to organize this year's picnic, please let Grace know--(425) 823-1919 or Grace@Birthcenter.com

 

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